My Solo Guruvayoor visit

 My solo trip to Guruvayur

This is my second visit to Guruvayur by myself. The first time I went, I only went alone one way and was later joined by my family and we returned together. 

But this time, I was all by myself for a day and half in the temple precincts. I immensely enjoyed both my temple visit and the journey by train to and fro. 

I took my first train at 6:55 Am in kollam station and reached Trissur at 10:55 Am. From there I took the passenger train to Guruvayur which left at 11:30 Am and reached by 12 pm. I took an auto to the temple from the station as I didn't know how far it was. My hotel room was within the temple precincts. After I checked in and freshened up, I went to check on the queue and had the shock of my life. It was a serpentine queue starting at one end and ending at another direction with people still joining in. So I decided to have my lunch. When I came back at 1 pm, I found that the queue had closed for the 2:30 pm darshan and I was told that I could join the queue but would get only the 4:30 pm darshan. Still I decided to join the queue. 

A bachelor guy from Malappuram was sitting beside me and he asked me if I would like partaking the paal payasam he had booked in advance as he didn't have anyone to take it home to, his mom being a diabetic.  Would anybody in the right frame of mind (and health) say No to that? 

 Being by myself, I wouldn't have known to get the payasam ticket before I joined the queue. This was in the noon. 

I learnt many other procedures about the temple from the same person and saw many wonderful sights that will be ingrained in my memory for a long time. Both times I wanted to see the Lord, I had to wait in queue for 3.5 hours. But since We were the first lot after the 2:30pm group of people, we had darshan almost immediately after 4:30 pm. 

Whatever few sorrows I had taken to share with the Lord seemed suddenly so petty and trivial after listening and observing random people and families (what else would one do for 3.5 hours) and when I finally stood in front of Him and looked at his enchanting smile in the form of a bow wielding little Lord Rama, I stood there mesmerized and smiling too, unaware of myself. What a wonderful experience! And when I was told to move on, I realized I was filled with joy. And then came the three glassfuls of paal payasam prasadam, which I never expected to get.  I felt doubly blessed. 

The next darshan I had was the same night when I joined the queue at 11:30 pm for the Nirmalyam darshan at 3 Am the next morning. Both darshans were equally awesome. But I especially loved the feel of actually waking the Lord because we were right in front of the still closed Main temple door and were chanting the holy name and sharp at 3 Am the doors were thrown open and we were the first and only 40 or so people to be fortunate enough to get the Nirmalyam darshan.(this is the Lord as he slept and is awoken in the previous day's alankaram). The queue was closed again and the next set of people could see the Vagacharthu darshan, which was after the Lord was decorated. 

Also the Camaderie between us people waiting to see the Lord was so much present especially because of the absence of mobile phones with us. If we have humans becoming only e-social these days, in the absence of our phones, we again become social beings.  I could feel how that in itself was a 'feel good' factor. I also got to know so much about the lives of the fisherfolk family from Cherai near Ernakulam, whose young daughter was sitting beside me. She narrated how they had to shift to a school camp for a week during the floods a couple of years ago after their home had flooded and also talked about their day to day lives. This was in the night. The crowd of people for the Nirmalyam would confuse you as to the time of the day or night. 

Only some people dozing off and on would remind one of the dead of night time that it was. I realized how fortunate and blessed a life I have been given on listening to these stories of people from different strata of society. People had mixed reactions when I told I was there by myself. Most said I was brave, but a few looked on with suspicion. It didn't matter because I was here to see the Lord and nobody's opinion mattered. 

After Nirmalyam darshan,i went to my hotel room and rested for 4 hours. By 8:30 Am, I was back in the temple and was in the inner sanctum (not the innermost where we see the Lord, but the outer circle within the sanctum, which didn't require you to stand in queue,but you wouldn't be able to see the Lord unless there was no crowd) . I did 3 pradakshinams, chanted the Vishnu Sahasranaam and just sat there till 11:30. By 12 I was back in the room and after half an hour I was again back at Guruvayur station to take the train to Trissur and from there, my return journey by Venad to Kollam. Reached home at 9 pm after an eventful, fruitful, maiden solo tour. So on the whole, I felt greatly blessed and I now look forward to my next solo trip. 

The Mobile phone story

  In many European countries, some days are observed as Pollution-free days when people, including office goers, use only either cycles or walk to their workplace.  What a beautiful concept!, I used to think.

In a similar thread of thought, I used to wonder if it would be good to have mobile phone free days. People are nowadays attending Vipassana camps which mandate keeping away from electronic gadgets including phones during the tenure of the camps. 

 Sometimes, technology and the need to feel connected can get into us so much that it takes away our need for personal freedom. How many of us can sincerely keep away from WhatsApp, at least for one day? Sometimes, I wish I could go back to those days when mobile phones were unheard of.

  A couple of weeks ago,  an unexpected big wave totally immersed my mobile phone when I had only wanted to immerse my feet in the waves of the beach near my home. My ‘not  so old' Phone ‘died’ as a result. 

Though I was initially saddened as I only had had a glimpse of the pictures I had posed to amidst nature only a few moments back,  but which was now lost forever,  I told myself, here was my 'Golden Chance' to live without a phone, at least for a few days.

 I started a new day as always with my study chanting  of the Lord's name. At one point I got stuck . I went to my phone to listen to the downloaded audio file before returning back disappointed to my photocopy and completed my chanting as best as I could manage. 

 The calling bell chimed. And it was our iron wallah. What did I owe him? I had no clue as I always put that in the notepad on my phone.   I had to go out to buy our provisions for the kitchen.. My list again was lost as it was again in the notepad on my phone.. 

To add to my frustration, the landline was down. It had been down for a few days now, but none of us had bothered for obvious reasons. Could I call someone to lament? No, I didn't have either my cell phone or my land phone now. And all my contacts were stored in my cell phone 

 OK, let me motivate myself,i thought. Let me make Rash Bora. I had craved eating the sweet for some time now.  Yes. OK, so where was the recipe?. Oh no, I had it saved in Pinterest on my phone again. Now I was beginning to become sad. 

 My new maid, who hadn’t turned up on Saturday, came a few minutes late, and I looked at her menacingly. She started ranting as to how many times she had called me on Saturday and why hadn't I called her back. Definitely, I would have had some missed calls on my phone. I briefly narrated to her the tragedy of my phone. 

 The calling bell Again. I rushed to see that I had an Amazon delivery. I had ordered a book. Thank God I tell myself now. At least I can read my book in peace. 

Can I have the OTP Madam? He says as I'm extending my hand to receive the book.  Grinning sheepishly, I briefly narrate the  calamity to my phone again.

Chitra, You better browse and see what phone you want, said my husband this morning, to which I bravely replied. Let me be without a phone for a month at least.

 Now I wonder, can life go on normally without a cell phone, even for an ordinary soul like me? 

I sit with my new book in the Sit out and our dog Omi is scratching away. OK, let me give you a bath. I say to Omi and myself and an hour later, Omi  is sleeping blissfully after a refreshing bath and a hot grub. I look at him enviously and think to myself what a fortunate “mobile phone free” life he has!!

Sensitivity to the mute - a strength or weakness

 Sensitivity towards the mute - a strength or a weakness

This incident happened a few years back when my daughter was a student in a popular Co- education school in our town in Kerala.  

One afternoon, while it was nearly lunch time, my daughter heard some deep wailing noises, which she was quick to identify was coming from a young dog.. To her absolute shock and dismay, she soon realised that it was coming from within her school.. Incidentally, a young dog had accidentally ventured into the school compound and a care taker woman was beating it mercilessly in her attempt to drive the dog away.. My daughter, the animal lover that she is could not bear this sight unravelling right in front of her eyes and she started yelling and crying herself in the midst of her class and pleaded with her class teacher permission to go and set right the situation.. Meanwhile the little dog in question had taken some more severe beatings and supposedly fled for its remaining life.. 

My daughter with some friends in tow marched to the Principal( a Christian Father) and with tears still streaming down her face narrated the cruelty meted out to the stray by the school care taker, hoping that a little punishment or atleast a harsh word of caution be given to the woman in question. 

But what left my daughter shattered for many days afterwards was that the Principal not only did anything in the issue, but asked her if all her tears was just for a stray dog and that if she was a member of Maneka Gandhi's group.. 

Leave alone the action and insensitivity of the lady care taker who was the perpetrator, which gave my child so much grief, but the inaction and apathy of the protector, in this case the Principal, definitely did  

her more damage. This incident is definitely one of her bitter experiences in school life. 

The Thankless Job

 

The Thankless job

We often pass a busy intersection in the small town where I live and my husband has sighed more than once looking at the traffic policeman saying what a thankless job it is, rain or shine,  standing and directing traffic and each time immediately, I am reminded of my own chores as a homemaker making me wonder how thankful a job it is in comparison.

I have been passionate about cooking right from my teenage years.. We used to buy a magazine 'Women's Era' (now I'm sure, there will be an issue with even its name if it was around) and there used to be recipes in it, which I used to try and surprise my mother. Later I used to look up cook books(I have a vast collection of those) I used to cook when I was happy or sad, when there was a birthday or an anniversary, when I was going to visit people or when people visited me, when someone had a house warming or when somebody's daughter conceived. Cooking for me was a genuine way of conveying that i cared and shared in their joy. My Google continues to throw up recipes and  even now, I zealously try out those that have caught my fancy.

But why is cooking done by a homemaker so taken for granted?  Although I am not duty bound to cook for my guests, be it the extended family, or friends, I am still traditional enough to do it.. But what irks me is the lack of appreciation or gratitude or gratefulness for all the effort that has been put in to turn out a thoughtful dish.  When one spends say a couple of hours to prepare a meal, is it too much to expect a word of appreciation that takes a couple of seconds?? A simple 'Thank you, I enjoyed it'... Wouldn't it completely reward all our labour? But No.. It never comes and we condition ourselves not to expect anymore.

So, i am telling myself this nowadays..when you have people around- don't fret and labour alone in the kitchen.. Just dress up well and casually say "Let's go to the new restaurant" and enjoy a good meal. It is definitely not worth the slogging anymore.  This way, your back doesn't ache for a couple of days later, you don't need to wait for that word of appreciation and above all that, Nobody minds anymore.. And definitely don't forget to pay a courteous return visit!!

My favorite bird

 My favorite bird. 

If  you are thinking about the more colourful creatures of the feathered family like peacocks or parakeets, I'm sorry you will be disappointed to know that my favorite happens to be the simple plain looking Crow. 

I have been an admirer and an avid watcher of this very common bird and I have gathered a lot of information from various sources that never fail to fascinate me. 

One evening, I was walking in my terrace as is my routine at sunset time.  I noticed a small bird which by its movements, I gathered, had just learnt to fly.. But what initially bothered me was that it was constantly being pursued by a Crow.    On closer observation, I realised that the young bird was not a crow.  After a while, I couldn't spot the two anymore, I continued to walk, but constantly kept looking around and at a distance on top of a coconut tree, I saw to my deepest thrill and shocking surprise, that the Crow was actually pursuing a young cuckoo (which after being hatched by the crow obviously) and finally succeeded in feeding it some food scraps it had found.. My love for the bird grew many fold watching this beautiful scene unfold before my very eyes... What a great lesson to be learnt by us Humans..!! Till then, I had only known that the cuckoo laid it's eggs in the crows nest and the crow hatched it without the knowledge that it was not one of its own..It brought to my mind a beautiful couplet by the famous Tamil poet Thiruvalluvar. 

A few months later, I happened to read an article in Reader's Digest about the famous cartoonist R. K. Lakshman wherein he is asked by the interviewer why the common crow figured in most of his cartoons to which, much to my delight, his reply is ' because the crow is my favorite bird'.  He also says that the crow is the most intelligent of all birds. Very true, I thought to myself. 

There are a lot of things we humans learn from nature and definitely in that respect, the crow is a perfect teacher.. 

Decades back, when we were living abroad for a few years, the list of the things I missed so much about India included the humble Crow. 

It is said that the crow rises very early(I definitely am yet to see a sleeping crow) 

It takes a bath twice a day.. I have seen that whenever I have a basin of water laid out, few crows dip and wash themselves at dusk time.. I haven't observed this in the early mornings as I am not such a early riser myself. 

A crow has only one partner for life.. That was really great to know.

A crow does not take any food after sunset.. That was really awesome to learn.. Won't it help us humans a good deal in Emulating that? 

Making a great noise on spotting food and sharing it with other crows unlike  human beings who are more selfish and again making a cacophony when one of its fellow beings is hurt or in some danger again unlike us who are indifferent (road accident victims -how many of us stop to help?) 

One of my favorite pastimes is watching the interaction between my dear dachshund Omi and the Crow.  Whenever Omi creates a fuss eating his food, I only have to lay the plate a little further for the crows to arrive.. And suddenly Omi is all hungry and there is a competition and everytime to Omi's distress, the crows are successful in snatching away few beak fulls. At other times I have watched Omi trying to catch up with the speed of the crow and ultimately look bewildered when they are only half an inch apart now and the next minute, the Crow takes flight.. I love the expression of Omi at such times.. It is a mix of helplessness and admiration.!!  I pat him on the head and tell him 'You may be black too Omi, but you are not a Crow'😊

My Guru and me

 Swamiji

On the occasion of Guru Purnima

July 5 2020

My Guru and Me

Swamiji - To have you in my life, I feel indeed blessed. 

With you in my thoughts, I have been soothingly caressed.. 

To be in your midst is such an immense joy.. 

For us wandering souls, you are indeed our buoy

Just to see you, If life could rewind, I would pay any price.. 

To be able to sit silently before you, I don't even ask to be wise.. 

Your Bhajans, sathsangs and speeches, I long to hear again -

Looking at your divine face, I will offer my mind in bargain. 

When I dream of you in my sleep, my joy knows no bounds. . 

I feel as if it is enlightenment I have found. 

When I have cooked a nice meal, I silently look at you.. 

Asking in my mind..Swamiji- will you join us? -please do. 

When I act in haste or anger, with shame and guilt I am wrought.. 

Because..swamiji..I have enshrined you in my heart.

You taught us much Swamiji,  you made great changes in our lives.. 

If not for you, it must have been one terrible strife. 

I know you are always taking care of me and so I feel very light.. 

I feel I have disposed off my baggage and boarded my flight.. 

You will Grace me in my journey too, I definitely have no doubt. 

For that is what this Guru- disciple relationship is all about. 

Few minutes in slow motion

 Few minutes in slow motion

Perhaps the best thing about Corona is that many of us seem to be opening our eyes more to the nature around us.  Of late, I have a new routine.  Around 6 pm, I rush off to my terrace for my day's exercise which is a brisk half an hour's walk.. But what pushes me more is the beauty around me, which I watch while I am also saying my prayers for the day. 

I am not only amazed by the sheer number of bird species I spot daily, but also filled with an immense euphoria at the myriad moods of the sky at dusk, which seems to change with every passing minute at that hour. 

A pond heron perched high on a coconut tree all appear black with the setting sun in the background giving an golden orange tinge to the sky... Still earlier, I had seen a flock of white egrets perched on different fronds of the same coconut tree.. An odd Kingfisher high up on a leafless branch enjoying it's wind-induced swinging.. A couple of the sweetly whistling ducks as they fly over my head.. Some grey hued gulls flying in a V-formation all leave me breathless and wanting more.. 

Sometimes the sky is fully grey and filled with darker huge rain-bearing clouds in all shapes.. Sometimes it is very blue and slowly becomes yellow, orange, pink and mauve and then grey with every passing minute as the sun sets.. I forget my prayer and my exercise and immerse myself in the beauty of nature.  On some days, I just lie on the ground keeping my eyes open towards the sky.. The beauty and feel especially on a pleasant day is something hard to explain in words. 

Soon, I hear the muezzin's call to prayer and sky is dark all too quickly and I realise my favorite time has come to a close for the day.  Thanking God for the glimpse of his divine artwork on his Sky canvas, I retreat downstairs into the rest of my day.